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DISCLAIMER: This article is True except for the parts that are Not. However, the author, the Reverend Oral Fleece, Straight From the Street and Not From the Police, hereby, attests under duress that most of it was purloined from the most replicable sources available.
Fox News proudly announced that it gave $40 million dollars of free television time to elect Republicans during the recent "Mid-term Massacre," sending a rampaging undisciplined group of half stir-crazy, wide-eyed Tea Party nut-jobs to the Hallowed Balls of Government (Congress) frothing like a herd of stampeding wildebeests to a children's Tea Party. Shouting childish platitudes like mindless zombies they leap upon the couches of America paying homage to Tom Cruise. "The American people have spoken," they scream at the top of their lungs breaking all the glass in the immediate vicinity with their squealing. (Source: Unknown)
"America has spoken!" Right, like 15.2% of the eligible voters is a majority.
What the Hell happened to the Federal Communication Commission's "Equal and Fair" clause that required Television and Radio broadcasters to give equal time to both points of view on all political discussion? After all, the airwaves belong to the public, not to tight ass, right wing, ill-mannered broadcasters and villains like Rupert Murdoch and Rush Limbaugh. These ogres only lease their license from the federal government. The airwaves belong to the people.
Rupert Murdoch and the "Right Republicans" pushed for eliminating the equal and fairness regulation because it was too much of a burden on "free Enterprise" and it has resulted in an avalanche of HATE SPEECH radio and television programs grossly misrepresenting facts and hawking an extreme, mean spirited ideology that culminated into the Tea Party Plunder of 2010, on that infamous fateful day in America, November 2 ND - the day America went "mad".
Rupert Murdoch and Fox News are "Messing With Our Junk."
Fixed Fox Flighty News and Clear Corp have created a blood thirsty monster, a sort of Grendel's Tea-publicans thousand-headed ugly monsters, that spews hot searing slogans instead of sensible, compromised policies and elevates "bar room shouting and know-it-all know nothings" to government policy makers and to serious, sensitive positions of national security.
Weep for America, my feeble, worn and cast out friends during this dark time of national mourning. I would drape my home in black cloth but I am homeless and living in a shoebox.
I fear that the newly elected political novices (Tea Publicans) are galloping at full speed, sabers drawn, thrashing wildly at friends and foes alike in their frantic frenzy to make a name for themselves by slashing government across the board, gutting Health-care, chopping Social Security, killing the Department of Education, shattering the National Endowment of the Arts, squashing anything remotely resembling an entitlement program, drying up funds for stem cell and global warming research and stomping pro-choice advocates into submission or extinction.
All, All done dumbly . . . in the name of their disturbed, Hillbilly, Evangelical Christian Religion: Southern Fried Bull @!$%#, Covered in a Thick Gravy of Hate, Racism and Lumpy, Cold To The Core Stupidity!
Weep For Me, America. My country is blinded by greed and titters on self destruction.
SOUNDS LIKE FUN!
I am looking forward to hearing the craziest of crazy proposals by the extreme right wing branch of the Glenn Beck/Sarah Palin Tea Party Express as they roll into rural America waving Reality TV cameras, dressed in Alaskan flannel T-shirts, totting AK-R's - modern day Beverly Hills Hillbillies belching for the camera.
What will they shot at first?
Will it be privatizing Social Security and making their Wall Street backers richer or chopping off Progressive Liberals manhood in broad day light while reading biblical verses in Latin backwards as the United State Air Force Band plays Southern Born Again Hymns and dips the unfaithful into the Reflecting Pool, while Dick Cheney gears up the water boarding apparatus in the White house wings and George W. Bush wanders aimlessly around DuPont Square begging homeless people to buy his book.
Will Sarah take the Reality TV cameras into the White house revealingly how the Executive Branch really works or doesn't? Will her son, Track, knock up a teenager making it three for three" for Sarah's off springs.
The Tea Bangers fun-filled, fiery fury is stoked by a distorted religious ideology designed to force Americans back to "its Christian roots" by driving the United States as rapidly as possible backwards to the tenets of the "original Constitution" and to the" Messing Only With the Junk of our Founding Fathers.
QUESTION?
Is the Tea Party "Messing with Our Junk" by sticking its arm up America's arse in a wildy erotic search for hidden Socialists, Obama Birth Certificate, Ben Laden, a summer job for their off spring or a possible new route to the West Indies? I think not. They may just be a bunch of sick freaks too paranoid to come out and to repressed to know it. But, we do - the free thinking, left leaning, patriots for a Saner America.
I, like my idol, Bill Clinton, feel the pain of America as its innards are ripped at by the knarled hands of so many unclean and untrained, self proclaimed political proctologists. I fear the wrath brought upon her by the brutal cavity searches orchestrated by that evil old queen, Rupert Murdock, and his gay "Junk" Salesman, Glenn Beck, the thick headed, four eyed dimwitted, lithium laced Hate-Speech commentator currently selling Hate Speech Underwear Bombs on his national cable TV show, "I Suck Tomatoes."
That said, I think Murdoch is a brittle old bitch that is destroying America for profit to fuel his empire and he more than any other "critter" on the planet is personally responsible for the stupidity sweeping through the body politic in the form of the Tea Revolution.
Soon "Creationism" will be mandatory in every public school in America and Global Warming and Darwin's Theory of Evolution will be banned. The line between the church and state will be blurred by visions from homegrown Evangelical Tea-publicans drunk on their own power.
Reverend Terry Jones, the quack who wanted to burn the Koran, will replace Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State and Ann Coulter will redecorate the White-house in an all black decor while hurling racial epithets at Michelle Obama, who will finally break and kick that "skinny bitch's white bony ass."
I FEAR THAT Fox TVs silly putty, girlie-man personalities will too soon fill important government posts when Sarah Palin becomes Commander in Chief, in 2012. Thank God, that is the year it all ends. I fore see Huckabee, the goofy "part-time preacher-full time politician from Arkansas" and current weekly commentator at Fox News will sing forth in the choir of the Senate as the newly elected Vice President.
I see in my nightmares, Glenn Beck stewing, weeping, sulking and sucking tomato after tomato because he has been relegated to the position of instructor, rather than VP as he was promised by Palin, and, he will, of course, instruct us all with his mandatory lectures on "American History As Seen Through The Eyes of a Former Gay Mormon Drug Addict" from his new office as Czar of Correct Thinking.
NASA will be replaced by the "Rapture Department" and Christianity will become the one and only "true" religion of America. Dissenters will be roasted on the National Mall like marshmallows and their nuts sold to tourists to feed the squirrels. I see it all in me visions.
BUY GOLD, MY FELLOW AMERICANS, AND SEND IT TO ME BY THE CAR LOAD FOR SAFE KEEPING AND I WILL LOOK AFTER IT FOR YOU DURING THE BLACK DAYS OF AMERICA AS THE REPUBLICANS FINISH THE JOB THEY STARTED: Driving America into a FULL BLOWN DEPRESSION!
Respectfully,
The very grave,
Reverend Oral Fleece, doctored
Bird Dropping Institute,
in lovely, but, nearly all torn down Mildew, Ohio
