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Ever since, I got "smacked" down by Soph 0571 for "honing in" on her site and trying to suck off her loyal readers, confuse them with my nonsensical rantings, coated in date rape drug fumes; then, drag 'em "screaming and hollering" against their will to my deranged site, Pigeon Report, I have been plotting my revenge - er - analysis of what ails America, China and the "Free World."
After an exhaustive, original study, lasting an incredible 11 minutes on the Greenwich time scale, I believe that I have uncovered the most shocking Conspiracy since Hillary Clinton's "VAST RIGHT WING" conspiratorial one that she found evidence for on the tip of her husband's penis.
It ain't so, Brother and Sisters of the Corn-Hole generation! There is absolutely no "Vast Wing Right Wing Conspiracy". There is clear evidence, however, that a lot of Right Wing, Born Again, Tea Republicans folks just want to walk America back two hundred and forty odd years to the GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA, the 1770s, and, re-make her into a pure virginal, Christian Nation that the Born-Again, Homo-Hating God wanted it to be in the first damn place before that liberal sexual deviate, Benjamin Franklin, screwed it up with talks about Democracy.
Forget the "Socialist Take Over OF America Via The First Black President - Orchestrated by America's First SOCIALIST PRESIDENT -FDR and His Lisbon - Born Wife, Eleanor." That touching conspiracy and its accompanying fee bible is currently running 24/7 on Fox TV Network TV new Reality Fox Network. But, as interesting and it sounds, as a conspiracy it ain't happening, either.
Throw out that "Luke warm" Wat-er-boar-ding conspirarcy first put forth by the less than prestigious, Bird Droppings Institute, A Think Tank For Morons, that dishonestly claimed, without a "lick" of actual facts to back it up, that "DICK CHENEY IS THE ALIEN Found At The Roswell, New Mexico's UFO CRASH SITE".
That is just so not true!
Everyone that is in the know, knows that Dick Cheney is the extreme Right Hand of Lucifer and came straight here from an methane explosion in the lowest bowels of Hell, the Born Again, "Jesus Wants You T o Be Rich Le-veil".
Now, Children of the Corn-Hole generation, so named, because of the popular game sweeping the nation and entrancing America's young and old alike into frittering away their worthless lives tossing a bean bag into a hole cut into a piece of plywood. Obviously, this is the work of the Devil and the ply wood industry.
Nope, it ain't the "Obama Yo Momma, Now" advocates either, those great patriots that produced the "FAKED LONG FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE," disabused by our first illegal, Kenyan born, really black, "Temporary President," Ba-rack Obama. That, is so passe.
And, I am sorry to report that the much heralded, "BIN LADEN - HIDING IN PLAIN SITE - IN DONALD TRUMP'S COMB OVER!" is so over that even Saturday Night Live rejected it out of hand and told Jonathan Livingston Pigeon to stop sending material. He was fired years ago.
No, brothers and sisters, its the "BRITISH CONSPIRACY!"
The Brits, as they affectionately like to call themselves, have never surrendered their maniacal desire to "TO TAKE AMERICA BACK HOME AND GIVE IT TO THE QUEENS IN ENGLAND", or, so our highly discredited sources from Hell (reporter666) discovered while "Strangling Pigeons In The Park Just For a Lark", a practice he does only on Sundays under the watchful eyes of Tea Republicans who hate pigeons.
If I wasn't a dyslexic pigeon - I would hate the filthy things, too. But, I have carnal knowledge and know that they are really nice birds suffering from an enlarged colon and perfect aim.
Ferget the Hispanics, you can see them from a mile away - it's the flood of well spoken British folks swarming into America in a desperate attempt to get out of that collapsing Socialistic country, England, cause it is about to implode due the unrestrained growth of queens and to it lack of a descent dentist.
To tell you the truth, Opal, my first cousin and the first wife of my nineteen (19) wives, and, I , flew there not long ago. I'll tell you what, I have never seen so many big, snaggled yellow tea stained-teeth as I did on our "research trip" to that uncivilized, stiff, upper lip, accent talking, Muslim-loving, uppity-crust country.
We was forced to swell that awful mind soughing TEA junk every day until I could not pee, see or find my rifle. In disgust, Opal and I flew home on the wings of a Jet Blue aeroplane at little or no expense to taxpayers.
The Brits are coming, I tell you. They is infiltrating the "vine," America's own Hollywood movie industry, national American TV as newscasters cause they can read, and overwhelming Republican "gay bath", even in your neck of the woods, cowboy.
Wake Up AMERICA - Afro Ya Are Smothered In POO! Flock Off - Children of the Corn-Hole Generation
Disrespectfully Yours,
Jonathan Livingston Pigeon ("doctored") FOUNDER OF THE BIRD DROPPINGS INSTITUTE - A Think Tank Fer Smart Ale-cs (An Under Served, Forgotten Population of Cracker - Jacks). That's, BDI, the world ONLY source of Fair and Unbalanced News! God Bless! LOL
