GOP front runners, Donald ("The World's Longest Comb-Over") Trump and Michelle ("I Sometimes Miss Speak - But I'm Not Dumb") Bachmann are the most recognizable candidates in the Republican presidential nominee race and may very likely be the Tea-Republicans "Dream Team" choice for 2012.
This tip is an "exclusive" courtesy our own unpaid, disreputable sources, here, at the less than prestigious Bird Droppings Institute, located in "right smack dab" in the middle of "Crying" John Boehner's 8Th Congressional District, in lovely, but nearly all torn down, Mildew, Ohio, where there are no jobs because "The Weeper Of The House" sent them all overseas, which is alright with us because we just love that free government cheese.
The Bird Dropping Institute, as many of our readers know, was formed out of desperation by "Doctored" Jonathan Livingston Pigeon, world renounced political "troll" and of author of the now suppressed tome, "Never Drink Tea Under A Fig Tree!" His much vilified Think Tank For Smart Ale-cs is sponsored by deranged, right wing ducks that fled the tyrannical rule of the Tea Republicans and are now serving prominent in many of the nation's most exclusive, private country clubs where they are highly coveted as the main entree.
Nevertheless, that is to say, none the least, this troubling Stink Tank has it on "pretty dubious" grounds that "The Donald's" comb over is actually longer than Michelle Brahman's trestles and she is reportedly as mad as a "hatter". She is also up set about the length of "The Donald" hair, too. Michelle is threatening to up end the Tea Republicans "Dream Team" unless she gets to be "on top," according to our much maligned source, who was able to get access to the "Dream Team" by posing as a film crew for the newly formed, "I'm a Little Tea Pot - Short & Stout" party.
"The Donald" (a stupid name for an adult) is an avid anti-socialist and a card carrying member of this newest Tea Party grassroots group that is making headlines with its vehemently opposed opposition to the "creeping Socialism" in Day Cares facilities and Kindergarten-Schools where, they claim, "tots" are encourage to "share their toys". This is an issue close to "The Comb Overs" own heart ever since he once personally punch a homeless man panhandling on Madison Avenue in New York City for obstructing his view of Madonna's "unmentionables" as she was existing her customized, black negligee painted limo, chauffeured by, none other than, the self published ex-author, Robert Sin-clair, an ex-con, ex-writer and ex-communicated prevaricator.
"I want to be on top," shouted Michelle to "The Donald", who was too pre-occupied to notice. He was lost in his daily ritual of staring into his hand held, gold plated Tea-Republican mirror admiring his reflection while his staff of eighty worked endless on the "comb over," that even Rapunzel would envy.
"If I don't get to be on top, I am returning to Fox TV and taking up my affair again with Bill O'Reilly. He knows how to appreciate a woman," wailed Michelle as she pondered why some words were capitalized and others were not.
"Fine", finally responded "The Donald", "Sarah Palin is waiting in the wings and just dying to get into bed with a Right Wing, Super Rich Conservative Republican like me. And, besides, she can read!"
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on ones perspective, at that precise moment, the secret recording came to an abrupt halt as nearly naked "Doctored" Livingston was carted off to the New Jersey State Hospital for observations and re-admittance. "I am not a Socialist - I am a lunatic," he shouted to no one in particular, and, No One In Particular, subdued the good doctor with a stun gun. So much for clean politics!