Is the Great party of Abraham Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Ronald Reagan "Stuck On Stupid"?
Chris Rock summed it up best when on the Letterman Show he was asked by Dave, if "America is ready for a Black President?"
Without batting an eye, Chris Rock, the black comedian, action-movie star and political pundit on BET, replied, "We were ready for a retarded one - why wouldn't we be ready for a Black President?"
Stuck on Stupid! That's where the Republican Party is today: Stuck! The RNC has allowed media freaks like Glenn Beck, (Fox TV Network News's soon to be fired mental case) and manic-depressive, Rush Limbaugh, creator of Hate-Speak Radio to set the platform for the Republican Party by reaching out indiscriminately to the legions of ignorant far-out, radical, right-wing nut-jobs that are still smarting from the "ass whooping" that they took back in the good old days: the days of the Civil War; those wonderful, lovely, HATE filled days when 600,000 American killed each other over the right to enslave another.
THE SOUTH LONG S FOR those warm, romantic days of yore, when a civilized Southern gentlemen COULD whip his black slave "to within an inch of his life" AND DO IT, confidently so, knowing that his actions were protected under the full force of the original Constitution of the United States of America, so help me God!
Let us all stand up, Brothers and Sisteers of the CORN-HOLE GENERATION, (put your bean bags down), and, let us thank God for the Original Founding Fathers not the Fake One and shoot someone in the head per Glenn Beck's request, jest fer fun, hallelujah! brother, pass the ammo! Some one be treading on my toes! Wave the Flags: CONFEDERATE AND AMERICAN!
Those were the great old patriotic days when a White Man had the right to sleep with any black woman that he owned, traded, or bought. And, women, as God wanted, had no rights, back in the pre-Civil War civilized days, when murder was necessary to cleanse the body politics and OK as long as the victims were Jews, Negros, Mexicans or any damn meddling Yankee. Back in the days of mint juleps and no tolerance.
Today, in 2011, only 146 years later, these former Southern Conservative confederate sympathizers turned Ex-Klu Klus Klan-men and John Birch Society closet racists joined with the left-over hate-mongers from the failed Southern Christian Coalition and successfully morphed into an ugly cadre re-branded as the Tea Party, created by FOX TV NETWORK NEWS.
This clacking cluster of civics class challenged high school drop outs ARE PROUD TO BE "locked and loaded," AND are desperately seeking a scapegoat to blame for their dysfunctional liv-es.
Their grey miserable lives brought on by repeatedly dropping out of school; bouts of excessive heavy alcoholic abuse; attending way too many loud NAS-CAR races; desensitized by hundred of hours wasted glued to their black and white TV sets worshiping World Wide Federation Wrestlers AND THE MORONS AT FOX TV.
Thus, say-est Dr. Freud Pigeon, these "wannabe" Conservatives are fantasing of a up coming "live" completion at the "Biggest Smack-Down Of Really Inarticulate People IN WHICH THEY BeatThe Hell Out of Equally Stupid Muscle Bound Freaks With No Teeth, Who Vote A Straight Republican Ticket." (Why look at me - I don 't know what the F-word it means either. I am merely the vessel).
Demonstrating through their use of tools, that they are not the lowest on the evolutionary chain by making weapons out of folding chairs, while they simultaneously ingest hands full of lead paint chips as their unsupervised brood of hell-raising heathen off off-springs roam the Mall of America looking for a queer to beat up, or to convert some innocent to their Born Again God, Bible Thumping, Holier Than Thou, Gay Bashing, Christian Church of the Hypocrite!
"Stuck on Stupid," it seems is the historic theme that permeates the party of Andrew Johnson, Ulysses S. Grant, Chester Arthur, Warren G. Harding, and, is the litmus test. The best examples of STUPID: George W. Bush; Living Proof Positive that the Republican Party is jammed up. STUCK ON STUPID! CAUSE STUPID IS STUCK ON ME!
It appears to this impartial, non-partisan observer that The Republican Party, if history serve me right, has been for over one and forty six years; STUCK ON STUPID! (Except for Lincoln, who Republicans of his day wanted the great Republican to step down that a "better man" might run for re-election and petition the South for terms.) It seems that even then the majority of Republican party official were STUCK ON STUPID! (Repeating theme).
Today, the none to bright Neo-Republican ones, are quick to point out that their God, "Ronnie" Reagan, (1981-1989) wasn't stupid - he was just suffering from the on-set of Alzheimer's disease which explains his unnecessary racking up of the worst deficit of all times, the deficit that has no hope of being paid off for another hundred years. Reagen was responsible for the Republicans generous and compassionate policies of giving tax break to the rich and taking from the poor.
But, "Ronnie", our mesmerized Republican ditto heads, (complete with burr hair cuts and reading from their Karl Roves Handbook of Talking Points), preach incessantly that, "single-handily tore down the Berlin Wall, collapsed the Evil Empire and walked on the Moon". He did these things with words, just by saying to Gorbachev, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
And, God tore the down the Wall of China for "Ronnie" by slamming Nancy Reagan stubborn, hard head into it until, like Jericho; it all came tumbling after.
The "Evil Empire "was no more, largely because Ronnie called it an "Evil Empire" and once again, the former actor slayed the dragon with words from one of his movie script. Meanwhile, while the Republican God, Ronnie, was president Ollie North illegally waged war from the basement of the White House while "Ronnie" and "Nancy" watched old movies of themselves and "Danced on the Graves of the Fallen Dead And Played Foo-ties in The Lincoln Bed," or, so I am advised by a voice inside my head.
When an unbiased, impartial and non-partisan political hack, such as myself, cast a cockeyed, "Fair and Balanced" eye on the slate of Republican Party's candidates proposed for nomination for the 2012 Presidential election, one can only ask: IS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY STILL STUCK ON STUPID AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
Consider if your will, without bursting into uncontrollable laughter, the list of candidates currently being promoted by the real Republican Party, FOX TV NETWORK FAUX NEWS:
- Donald "The Comb Over" Trump - "I am filthy rich, very smart and graduated from Wharton Business And Secretarial School."
- Newt Gingrich - "Please Don't Quote Me On Any Thing I Have Said In The Past. I Was Drunk Most of the Time And Having an Affair With My Current Wife Before I Served Divorce Papers On My Second Wife As She Was Recuperating From Cancer Surgery and Before She Could Awaken Fully From the Anaesthetic's".
- Sarah Pal-in - "Drop-Out Governor Who Quit In Mid-Term To Become A Realty TV Has-Been And Fox TV Lousy Comedian."
- Mike Hackable - "Part-time Evangelical, Born-Again Preacher and Full Time Political Hate-Speak Christian Commentator for FOX TV".
- Mega-Mom and Anti-Masturbating Advocate, Michele Bach-man. (R) for Retarded!
- And, what's his face the "gay looking Boy Scout that recently started speaking with a Southern accent: Tim Aplenty NAVIETY?"
All of the above, much heralded Republican candidates are personal friends and employees of that "Great American Patriot", Rupert Murdoch, the Australian Scrooge and ex-patriot who pays these urchins million dollar fees as babbling, political hate-speech commentators for FOX TV NETWORK FLUX NEWS.
REPUBLICANS STILL STUCK ON STUPID AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?
In my advanced wisdom-filled years, enlightened by homo home-schooled taught learning, there is, I still believe, a shred of decency within, that tells me that what the Republican Party need to do is find a Black Southern politician; preferable one aligned with the new patriotic Tea Party, who believes that America should return to its origins - a form of government misused by our Founding Fathers, and, irrationally support a concept of governance guided exclusively by the "original" Constitution that allowed for slavery, counts Afro-Americans as 3/5 of a person; Denys women the right to vote, as God wants, and, only permits Rich White Senators to elect the President.
Find that black dumb-ass and the Republican Party will retain its place in history: FOREVER STUCK ON STUPID!