This tightly crafted, brilliantly lifted treatise conforms to the Bird Droppings Institutes's policy of "never, never use a big word when a small filthy one will do."
Caution to skimmers: One may read a lot of d-words (dirty) in this here work of art that have not been sanitized by the right righteous, Religious-Right and their omnipotent slower brethren, the drunk on political power, TEA-REPUBLICANS.
WARNING: This article may not be suitable for children under the age of 80 and should not be read aloud! - author Godfrey.
The Less Than Prestigious Bird Droppings Institution has received numerous inquiries (1) regarding the absence of abstinent practicing Ann Coulter, the infamous democrat hating B-word, and, no inquires about her possible mysterious disappearance from the right wing political stage.
Of particular note, Ann's evaporation from the FOX TV Network News's "CAVALCADE OF POLITICAL WENCHES, S - WORD COMMENTATORS AND POLITICAL SEXUAL PERVERTS - SAN WIT; to wit: Dick Morris, Bill O'Reilly, Newt Gingrich and Sean (I Don't Touch Myself) HANNITY, the former Alter Boy, and, personal pet of Roger Ail-es.
Thank, God, we still have ALAN COMBS, the former lousy comedian and even lousier political commentator to kick around, otherwise many Liberals would be hospitalized from kicking themselves in their private parts, which we have sworn never to touch again, until after the 2012 election, when President Obama will send that S-Word, B-word, R-word speaking C-word directly to Alaska, and, then, and only then, may we all join hands with all our gay Glee Club friends and sing,"HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN"!
The BDI's Journalistic Creed: "Your Right To Know - Supersede Your Right To Exist" which we blatantly purloined from Monsieur Gary Bur-bunker, a political genius and mega radio talking head, who idly lost his mind while diving for pennies in the filthy waters off the Shores of Fountain Square, deep within the dangerous "Whites Only" forbidden territory" of Cincinnatus.
Gary Brew-master, a WLW radio giant, was forced by his rich Republicans bosses, who owned the station and everything else in Cincinnatus, to supplement his meager income as a "Gifted Part-Time Ventriloquist and A Not So Gifted Full-Time, Some-Time Political Analyst" for BBC's Network of Nuts, Slanderers and Crackpots !
Poor Jerri Bur-bather , a good friend, decided unexpectedly to become a Gay, Left Leaning, Right Handed Folk Singer and abruptly left the airwaves in the middle of narrating a political debate between Jerry Springer and Dr. Phil, and, tragically has been heard no more. He disappeared like that other republican whore Ann Coulter. Enquiring minds want to know:
WHERE IS ANN COULTER, The B-word?
The rest of us, the "non-enquiring minds" don't really give a S-word, but, our one lazy reader, FORMOST, does. So, our outstanding (in the field) researchers were whistled in from their idyllic Pasteur's where they were frolicking naked with their Greek Muses strumming lyres and playing sensuous bipolar games, tossing government issued "cheese balls at a starving baby seals, then clubbing them to death in that Palin-esque modern Alaskan tradition to wipe out the little critters to make way for oil company's to "drill, baby drill".
"Locked and Loaded," the team of wild-eyed, mostly drunk democrat researchers were chained to their Dell (placement ad) Laptops and instructed that if they wanted any bird fed to eat, or, to suckle from the pungent city water-well, they were to "FIND ANN COULTER AND TELL THE WORLD WHAT THAT C-WORD, CAREER ENDING S-word WAS F-wording UP TO?"
Our cracked Recesses Monkey led team, after an exhausting, 16 nano seconds of gruelling work discovered that ANN COULTER is hiding out at Chaz Bono's lavishly tacky Hollywood home, where the infamous B-word is being coached by Cher's sex changed daughter, the former Chasity Bono, on how to become a man.
Ann used to me a man, back in the day. . . the days when she and an S. Pal-en attended SEX ADDICT HIGH with Dr. Drew Barrymore before the SECOND GREAT BUSH DEPRESSION (circa 2001-2009); in those dark dumb days when BILLIONAIRES were made richer through government tax credits and everyone else was sold to China for some cheap, lead painted children's toys.
I sincerely hope, FORMOST, you F-WORDING, B-WORD, R-WORD, D-WORD, SOB TRIPLE WORDS, the MFA WORD grouping intellectual warm bag of brains that you are now satiated and I can return to my nap.
Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Nuts, CEO & Flounder, The Bird Droppings Institute, A Left Wing, Right of Centered, Fundamentally Flawed, Vast Right Wing Conspiracy of Mental Defects Intent On Mucking Up The Works! (Placement Ad). Located right smack in the middle of Crying Johnnie Boehner's 8Th Congressional District; where there are no jobs because "The Weeper of the House" sent them all over seas to China! (50,000 factories worth).